How To Really Order Breakfast

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Here’s a blast from my past.

I’m a film buff and I love great movie lines.

Nobody does angry like Jack Nicholson does angry. In this classic scene from Five Easy Pieces, Nicholson tries everything he can think of to get the exact breakfast he wants.

Great film making. Sensible breakfast ordering, too.

I love the way he tries to substitute tomatoes for potatoes.

He also tries to order whole wheat toast, which seems better than a sweet roll.

But one of the best things you can say when you’re eating breakfast in a restaurant is . . .

Hold the toast.

Once you’ve got the coffee and the omelet, you pretty much have all the breakfast you need (except for bacon or sausage)…

As VP of Anger Management at Plan Z, I have learned to look at toast as a non-essential building block of a good breakfast. Having two pieces toast racks up 29.4 grams of carbohydrates. And hold the orange juice, too. Wash that breakfast down with an 8-ounce glass of orange juice and you’ve just added 27.1 more grams of carbohydrates.

Do you really want to start your day that way?

And don’t get me started on milk.

 Zola used to be an avid and big skim milk drinker. The milk may be non-fat, but is wasn’t helping her one bit. Do you really believe everything you see in advertising? When you finish that second glass of skim milk, you have already downed another 24 grams of carbohydrates.

So have some eggs and bacon. Avoid putting that first 70 grams of carbohydrates into your system and telling your insulin to “get busy storing fat.”

I get madder than Jack Nicholson when I think of how much weight I gained eating a “healthy” breakfast. Please don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a piece of bread now and then at a nice restaurant.

But toast for breakfast?  Five Easy Pieces (per year) is about right.

Stay angry my friend,